Category: Brave

Posted in Brave, cancer, challenge, determination, family

2/3rd through

Posted on by jtailele

Chemo treatment #4 was this past Tuesday. Even I am surprised at how well I am doing. The first day or two after treatment is a breeze. By day three, the neuropathy starts kicking in. It baffles me what parts of my body have a reaction. Why not my arms, or my back? Who knows. The neuropathy is only in my legs, especially my knees, making me feel wobbly and unsteady on my feet. Reluctantly, I secured a walker to use around the house when I am too wobbly. But with our condo being so small, most of the time I can walk holding on to chairs or tables. Doesn’t do much for my ego to look at a walker. Makes me feel old.

Next steps are two more chemo treatments before 18 radiation treatments. I spoke with Dr. Sam, my surgical oncologist last week and asked about guarantees. Of course, he can give none. But he did say that they would do another pet scan after the last radiation to compare it to the original one after the surgery. If that is clear, then I can cautiously say I am cancer free. The bigger test is 6 months after that (so around November 2023.) If cancer has not come back by then, I am pretty home-free for the rest of my normal life expectancy.

Most of my fears are gone. That is HUGE. Remember how terrified I was? Other than the unknown of the radiation, I now know what to expect with the chemo. I am stronger and braver than I was when this started. Can you believe that was over four months ago? (Surgery was in July) I am curious about when and what my hair will look like when it grows back in. I have hears that it could be any color or texture and completely different from what I had before. A new me???

People do love my wig and most do not even know it is fake. In fact, my nurse double-questioned what chemo I was taking because “you shouldn’t have any hair.” I don’t – I just have a really good wig. Life goes on.

I am eternally grateful for my wonderful family that takes turns coming each “treatment week” to make sure I am not alone while Tai is at work. And what a great opportunity to spend time with my kids. First was Candy from Ohio, second was Amy from Virginia. Then Dru and Cybil from Colorado. This week was Terri’s turn from Miami. Eliana will be here the week of my Dec. 6 treatment from Virginia and then Terri will be back for the last one after Christmas. I have the best hubby in the world too, who takes over all the stuff I would normally do around the house, like the cats, the laundry, vacuuming, etc. I am blessed beyond reason.

I would love to hear how other people are dealing with cancer or any other infirmity. Helping each other to cope is 90% of the battle. We need the village. Feel free to share.

I hope to get back to more writing soon. I have not done much since all this began. Now that I am more confident that I will have a future, it is time to get back to my stories and helping others get published. I have not given up my business, Simon Publishing LLC, so if you need help publishing that book, let me know. I am here for you.

Happy Thanksgiving. We all have a lot to be thankful for.

Posted in Brave, cancer, Daughters, family, health, Strong, writers

Brave, Strong, Smart, Believe

Posted on by jtailele

This quote really touched me. I have been feeling anything but brave, strong or smart. In fact, I was wallowing in my fears. Regardless of all the platitudes and words of encouragement everyone has given me, I was being consumed by fear.

Well, I made it through my first chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday. And yes, I was a blubbering mess through the labs, the consult with the nurse practitioner, the insertion of the needle into the port, and even up until the first med was pumped through. But eventually, things calmed down (most likely in part by the Benadryl), but I realized I was not in pain. Nothing terrible was happening to me. I just sat there and let the meds do their thing for five hours. Bottom line is, I made it.

I went in and out of some pretty weird dreams, but they were not scary, just odd. And when I got home I was super tired. And so glad to have my oldest daughter Candy, here from Ohio to look after me so Tai could work this week.

Today is now Thursday. My symptoms have been extremely mind. A tiny bit of nausea that is quickly remedied with a pill on my tongue. I’ve had some slight stomach cramping and a little tingling feelings in parts of my body, but very mild. Nothing I can’t live with. Much better than I expected. Today we went out shopping, and although I was tired when I got home, it was good to get out. So far, no hair loss (one of the things I am dreading most). Supposedly that could start as soon as next week.

What I really want to convey here is I made it through the first treatment. I AM now braver and stronger and smarter than I was on Monday. Now I know what to expect when I walk through that door to the treatment room. I doubt there will be any more tears, at least not over that.

I am still fearful of the side effects that will happen with more treatments. But I don’t think I am terrified anymore, and that is a huge step forward. In fact, I don’t think I have cried since yesterday. And that was very brief and private. I am making it through.

If you are going through something like this, whether it is cancer or something completely different and not feeling brave, strong, or smart, hold on. It will come. I can’t promise you when, but together, we will make it through to the other side.

Feel free to share your thoughts and what you are going through too. Let’s do this together.